DA 2010 Episode 3: Out of Reach
by AngelExposed
Summary: Rogue is dealing with regrets about her mistake trying to make a move on Remy, while the Professor makes Remy an offer that might need some consideration. (Finished, R&R)
1. Chapter 1: The Morning After

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 3

Chapter 1: The Morning After…

             Rogue wiped the steam from the mirror, looking at herself, she looked hellish.  Darkened under the eyes, her skin slightly paler than usual, and her expression as sickly as she felt.  Hangovers, she decided were something she never wanted to deal with again.  She pressed her thumping forehead against the cool damp glass of the mirror and closed her eyes.  

             "I'm never drinkin' again," she groaned to herself more than to Kitty Pryde who was in the bathroom sitting on the counter applying makeup carefully with a compact mirror.

             "How many times have I heard you claim that, yet never actually seen you live up to that?" Kitty asked, she applied lipstick, and kissed a piece of tissue to remove the excess.

             Rogue swallowed the taste of vomit, she'd been throwing up since five am, it was now seven am and she was hoping she was through with it, "this time I mean it, by New Year it's going to be a resolution," she leaned up and wiped her damp forehead, "what did you guys get up to after I left?"

             "I tried to teach Logan how to do the Macarena, but it wasn't working," Kitty responded, "he said he didn't want all the guys he plays pool with to watch him dancing like a gay porn star with a gerbil up his butt."

             Rogue gave a soft laugh, and fixed the collar of her lilac pinstriped fitted blouse, she smoothed it down a little, looking at herself in the now fogged and blurred mirror. 

             "So…you left last night with Remy," Kitty closed her compact with a loud snapping sound, and she put it away in her makeup bag, "did you guys talk?"

             Rogue grabbed the bottle of mouthwash from the cabinet, yanked the cap off and took a quick swig, gurgled, then spat, "we argued a bit – again," she admitted.  "Turns out the asshole cheated at pool."

             "Why am I not surprised?" Kitty asked herself curiously, then shrugged, "what did you say to him?" she asked.

             "Nothing of any importance," Rogue sighed, "I need to get some fresh air," she headed for the door, "I'll catch you later," she said softly, then left the room, heading down the hall, and began down the stairway into the foyer.  She wasn't even paying attention where she was going, which was why she collided clumsily into Remy LeBeau, who was on his way up.  Their eyes met briefly, before Rogue looked away.

             Remy said nothing, did not even excuse himself, he simply stood there, looking at her, his hair hanging in a loose ponytail, some shorter wisps of hair framing his sharp face.

             "Remy…" Rogue stared to the floor, she wasn't sure what she wanted to say to him, she didn't want him to rush off immediately after the collision though.  She felt compelled to elucidate her actions from the previous night

             Remy had one hand on the banister, the bandage on his right arm slightly showing under the sleeve of a black t-shirt that didn't seem to belong to him.  He'd been about to move, and he didn't ask her what she wanted, but he stopped altogether and waited, his eyes glancing down over the banister absently.

             "I just wanted to explain…about last night…" Rogue swallowed nervously, she felt as if she'd be sick again, "I was drunk – REAL drunk.  I didn't mean to throw myself at you like that, I was…out of my head…you know…the drunk had just…messed with my judgement…""

             "I know that," Remy's voice was dry, he sounded as if he'd been smoking too much in the last few days and it had finally taken its toll on what had been a youthful smooth voice.

             Rogue glanced to his eyes for a moment, "I mean I'd have to have been really drunk, wouldn't I?" she asked.

             "To make a move on me?  Absolutely," he looked down, studying the scuffs on his black leather boots.  "Absolutely," he said again, his voice faltering a little.

             Rogue chewed the inside of her cheek, her face growing pinker with embarrassment.  She tried to reassure herself in thought that she had absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.  After all, women who were drunk did far worse things than kiss men – and she hadn't even kissed him at all.  

Was I drunk though? She asked herself concernedly, looking away from him again, she wanted to believe she was, because if she confirmed to herself she hadn't been drunk at all, then it would mean that she still harboured feelings for the man she'd spent seven years trying to desperately forget about.  "Well…I…I gotta go," she said to break the tension.

             "Me too," Remy said quickly, and he was gone before she had a chance to respond to him.  She sat on the stairway, rubbing her forehead which was throbbing intently.  

             Why was I so stupid? She asked herself dejectedly, she glanced down over immaculately kept foyer, the floor very nearly sparkling in the sunlight coming through the large windows.  Her mind was reeling with the disgust with herself for having put her arms around Remy's neck the night previous, for one moment everything had almost seemed to fall into place until the moment he'd recoiled.  She could barely believe it.  Remy LeBeau had turned her down?  

             She sighed, curling her hair around her fingers, there had been one moment in her life when Remy had been madly in love with her, he'd have never turned her down, she could have done the worst things to him and he'd have still taken her back…now he'd become so cold towards her.  

             Why does it even matter, she scolded herself, she tried to convince herself she didn't want anything to do with him, and would rather he left the X-Men as quickly as possible, so she could be rid of his presence for all eternity and get on with her life.  

             He's playing games, she thought at herself.  In the garage, he was definitely flirting, and then when I get a little tipsy and go near him he pulls back.  This is some kind of game, it has to be, she shook her head at herself.  It's like he's trying to make me fall for him then pull back the minute I do….  

"Don't fall for it," she muttered to herself.

             "Don't fall for what?"

             Rogue pulled herself up and started down the stairs, Bobby Drake stood at the bottom of the stairs looking at her with his curious pale blue eyes, and a quizzical smile.  "Oh, nothin'," Rogue gave a roll of her eyes and smiled at her own foolishness.

             "You disappeared pretty fast last night after losing to Gambit," Bobby said with a smirk, "don't tell me you were afraid to face us after losing eighty bucks to gumbo."

             Rogue made a face of disgust and approached him, "as if," she trilled, but winced as her own voice rang through her head, the hangover still clinging onto her brain as if for dear life.  "Anyway, he cheated," Rogue added disdainfully, she headed towards the door, Bobby followed her.

             "Are you alright?  Lately you haven't seemed quite…like yourself," Bobby said, his voice softening a tiny bit as he came up behind her.

             "What do you mean?" Rogue turned slightly to look at him from over her shoulder.

             "Are you letting him get to you again?" Bobby asked sheepishly.

             Rogue turned around fully, looking into Bobby's eyes, she wanted to admit it, and that she needed help to overcome it, but the words refused to pass her lips even though she had them rehearsed in her head.  "No," she said slowly and carefully.

             Bobby put his hands on Rogue's shoulders, "he blew his chance with you, Rogue," he reminded, "he run out on you…"

             Rogue pushed Bobby away gently, "I know that, I know.  And believe me, he's not getting to me…not in the slightest."

             "You're lying," Bobby stated wisely, "every time someone mentions him you get all apprehensive and then you drift off into your little dream worlds, and we all know you're thinking things about him…"

             "The only thing I'm thinking about is that I wish he would just leave already so I can get on with my life," Rogue stated calmly, she scratched her nose thoughtfully, "the sooner he's out of here, the sooner I can get back to normal," she explained.

             "Why IS he still here?  Haven't you even asked him?" Bobby asked reproachfully.

             "Well…" Rogue folded her arms casually, "as far as I know, the Professor is still meant to be dealing with his criminal record…"

             "As if a criminal record would bother that dipshit," Bobby rolled his eyes, "he's already a criminal."

             "I know," Rogue opened the door and stepped outside, a gust of wind slamming her in the face as she did so, Bobby trailed her, "but for some reason, the fact he's wanted for murder isn't settling with him too well," she pointed out.

             "Fair enough," Bobby said, "But why hasn't he just done it himself?  You're not telling me he's not smart enough to break into police headquarters and delete all criminal records under his name?"

             Rogue looked at him, "just for Bayville, that would be easy," Rogue stated, "but the rest of the world?  I'm not so sure…" she said, "if it were all that easy, the Professor would have done it by now, right?" she asked.

             "Why don't you ask the Professor if he can speed up the process…tell him Remy is disrupting your life?" Bobby suggested, his breath misted against the cold air, but his bare arms seemed unaffected by the icy breeze – and considering the basis of his powers, this wasn't very surprising.

             Rogue paused for thought about what Bobby had just suggested, "y'know…I may just do that…"


	2. Chapter 2: Discussion

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 3

Chapter 2: Discussion

             Rogue knocked lightly upon the door leading into Professor Charles Xavier's office, she waited patiently, until she heard his voice in her head, beckoning for her to enter.

             {Come on in, Rogue,} his voice projected into her head, even the voice of his telepathic communication sounded distracted.  

             Rogue turned the handle and opened the door, stepping in slowly, "Professor, can we talk?" she asked, she tried to keep her voice sounding as casual and non-concerned as possible, she glanced to him.  He was seated behind his desk, piles of papers strewn across the countertop in an organised but unconventional manner, a pen poised in his hand, a folder open, his eyes darting across the text of the papers within.

             "Of course," Professor Xavier replied, although he did not raise his startlingly piercing blue eyes to glance at her as he usually might, she realised he seemed to be incredibly busy.

             "It's about Gambit," Rogue admitted, she closed the door behind herself slowly, still watching the Professor going about his business.

             "Oh?" The Professor this time raised his eyes to her, putting the folder he'd been holding down, "are you concerned for him?" his interest seemed to grow.

             "No…God, why does everyone keep asking me stuff like that?" Rogue asked, feeling most distraught with this assumption, "No, its not concern," she admitted, she walked over, standing in front of the desk, she put her hands in her pockets, "It's just…he's been here for a while…and all he does is drink and fix that stupid bike in the garage," she admitted, "Kitty did mention to me he wants to get away from here just as soon as he can – I was just wondering what the hold up is?" Rogue asked sheepishly.

             "You want to get rid of him?" Professor Xavier seemed surprised, "well…" he then paused, and rubbed his chin absently, "I cannot say I'm surprised, really…he does seem to cause interference somewhat to your routine…" the Professor then gave a sly smile, "but however hard you or the others find it living with the man, we owe it to him to make him at home and to bear with him while we arrange for his criminal record to be cleaned."

             "What exactly does that entail?" Rogue queried, looking rather curious.

             Professor Xavier smiled softly, "Nothing you should concern yourself, with, Rogue," he admitted, he then leaned forward onto the desk a little, his elbow pressed upon the folder he'd been reading from moments earlier, "actually, I am glad you have come to see me this morning, Rogue," he admitted, "because I think you should be the first to know…"

             Rogue felt apprehension build up inside of her, she had a feeling she knew what the Professor was going to say to her before he'd even finished his previous sentence.

             "I've discussed the matter with Hank, and Ororo, and of course Cyclops…and we've agreed amongst ourselves that Remy might be ready to return as an X-Man."

             Rogue felt her breath catch in her throat, but she wasn't going to let the shock overwhelm her long enough to let the Professor see it on her face, she had to fight her case.  "Professor…the guy is a Professional Thief…he admitted it.  He's a criminal."

             "Better as an X-Man than back to a life of crime," Professor Xavier pointed out softly.  After he'd spoken came an uncomfortable silence from Rogue, and the only sound in the office was from a clock on the mantle ticking softly, and the sound of the fire crackling.  "Wouldn't you agree?" The professor added.

             Rogue scratched her arm absently, looking around the room, "don't I have a say in this?" she asked softly.

             "Rogue, I do realise you still have some issues with Gambit…" Professor Xavier began.

             "Issues?" Rogue sniffed a little, "It's more than just 'issues'.  He run out on me, Professor – and accident or no accident, he is still responsible for Jared's death."

             Professor Xavier nodded, he looked frustrated but he kept his calm wonderfully, Rogue envied his composure that he always managed to maintain even in the most wearisome situations imaginable, "your problems with Gambit are strictly personal, Rogue, and you're the only person in the mansion with reason to really fight with me on his being asked back."

             Rogue frowned a little, "alright, y'know what, yes, it is a personal problem – I still have a thing against him for all he put me through.  But if you like I can put this into a professional perspective – as a member of the X-men," she folded her arms stubbornly, eyes narrowing, "he's a liability, he's reckless and nonconformist – a real rebel.  His only worth is only as a solo-fighter, as a team member he's useless," she pointed out.

             "Where are you drawing these opinions from?" Professor Xavier raised one of his fine sharp eyebrows, but sighed, "Rogue, I hear what you're saying," he put his hands up in defence finally, "but your opinion on this matter cannot be taken into account simply because you and Remy have a history – even albeit a bitter one – means your judgement would be clouded by past aggression."

             "Oh god," Rogue rolled her eyes, "Professor, you're acting as if I'm still seventeen and that I can't control my anger!" she headed for the door, deciding this conversation was definitely over, "anger does not cloud my judgement," she muttered, leaving the room slamming the door behind her, then realising she'd just proven the Professor right, she slapped her own forehead.

             Stupid, stupid, stupid, she thought tragically.

             Remy LeBeau was in the midst of lighting up a cigarette in the recreation room when the Professor's voice manifested inside his head in thought almost as if the words were his own.

             {Remy, are you busy at the moment?}

             Remy considered lying and saying he was, but he wasn't exactly sure what he'd have to gain from this – and besides, the Professor was in his head, surely he must have been able to read his thoughts of perhaps lying about it.  {Not particularly, Professor,} he replied in thought.

             {Could you perhaps come to my office?  There is something I would like to discuss with you,} the Professor's voice rang in his head with an almost empty sounding echo.

             {I guess,} Remy felt a sigh escape his lips as he stubbed out the just-lit cigarette, and he headed down the hall into the foyer, and down a smaller hallway where the Professor's personal office was.  

             Remy entered the room without knocking, deciding since the Professor knew he was coming there would be very little point in knocking to announce his presence.  He made his way across the large room, the room was so much more luxurious than he remembered it being with its maple panel walls, and its large marble fireplace, a warm inviting fire crackling low against the embers.

             The Professor was seated behind his desk, stacks of papers left, right and centre, a pen in his hand, he looked too busy to even have the time to discuss anything.

             "Sit down," The Professor gestured to a brown leather set before the desk, but Remy only shook his head in an almost polite way and stood casually, hands in pockets.

             "What's on your mind?" Remy asked indifferently, glancing around the room at all the expensive pieces of art and pondering if anything might be worth something.  He reminded himself of how stupid it was to think about stealing from a man who could read minds.

             "I've been discussing things with Storm, Cyclops and Beast…and we all agree that if you would like to return to the X-Men, we would be most pleased to welcome you back," Professor Xavier said simply.

             Remy nearly laughed, "what, you yanking my crank?" he looked at the Professor in complete disbelief of the situation, "you want me to rejoin?" he sniggered.

             "What is so amusing?" Professor Xavier raised an eyebrow, "I thought you would be pleased to be asked to rejoin."

             "No disrespect," Remy chuckled, his dark eyes swept across the room absently, his expression full of delight.  "But I'm not exactly X-Men material anymore, am I?" he shook his head, "No, Professor, I think I need to decline," he said, his voice becoming rather serious, "I'm not into the whole 'saving the world' thing anymore, and even if I was, there are reasons I can't just suddenly rejoin, even if I wanted to."

             "Rogue?" Professor Xavier asked very quickly, hoping to catch the emotion in Remy's face as he did so.

             Remy seemed to ponder this but caught himself from letting it show, "No, not her – but I think she would be really pissed off if I outlived my welcome any more than I have already," he explained, "I can tell my bein' here is startin' to get to her…probably best I take off."

"For the moment, see past how Rogue feels, how do you feel about staying?" the Professor asked, fingers twined together in front of him, his expression mild.

"The general feeling I get around here is – although you, Storm, Cyclops and Beast are sort of 'accepting' I didn't maliciously kill Jared in cold blood, the others are still very weary…and I don't blame them."

             Professor Xavier gave a curt nod, "yes, I understand.  But you have not given them time to get to know you.  They will come to trust you in time."

             "I don't really give a shit if they trust me or not, Professor," Remy responded, he gazed at the Professor from his deep set eyes beneath his low brows, "I don't totally trust them either," he added.  "After all most of them all – even including you – ratted me out to the police, which was a pain in the ass considering I had managed to maintain a clear criminal record up until that point."

             Professor Xavier gave a soft sigh, "will you at least consider this offer, it would be a privilege to have you back with us again, Remy, and perhaps you might even like to teach French to the younger students."

             "You'd trust me with something as big as that?" Remy laughed again, "first lesson I'd teach them how to swear in French and what voulez vous coucher avec moi really does mean," Remy winked, "thanks for the offer, Professor, but I'll have to pass."

             Professor Xavier nodded, "I understand…but if you change your mind – and you have the freedom to do so at any time – then don't hesitate to let us know."

             Remy nodded a little, "If that happens, then I will, but seriously, I doubt it will happen any time soon," he admitted, "Besides, like I said, I have other obligations…" he explained, "I'd like to try and get away from here as soon as I can…got business to attend to back in Illinois, you see."

             Professor Xavier raised an eyebrow, wondering what could be more important than being part of the X-Men?  He was half tempted for merely a moment to read the young man's mind, but he let himself stray from that thought, and looked at the man, "I understand.  I'll try and deal with your criminal record problems as soon as I can…unfortunately getting the time is the problem, like you…I too have obligations."

             "Understandable," Remy agreed, and with that left the room.


	3. Chapter 3: Spider

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 3

Chapter 3: Spider

             "Rejoin the X-Men.  I can't believe it," Rogue was speaking to herself more than Kitty Pryde who was helping her fold clean sheets in the small laundry room on the first floor.

             Kitty Pryde felt she must have heard Rogue repeat this sentence almost three hundred times in the last hour, and was beginning to grow weary of it already.  She could literally see the tension stretched tightly across her friend's flawless face, the way Rogue kept pursing her lips together, narrowing her eyes, and frowning.  Sucking sharp breath through her teeth as if she were in acute discomfort.   

             Kitty finally spoke, "Y'know, Remy hasn't even said if he's gonna stay or not, you're really overreacting," she announced, she stood parallel to Rogue folding a large white sheet pristinely, "the way you're acting, you'd think the guy had already moved his stuff in or something," she admitted, they finished folding the sheet and placed it delicately upon the pile that was set on the top of the drying machine.

             Rogue shrugged, and gave a sigh as if in defeat, "what's the point in trying to keep a positive outlook and trying to believe he's going to reject it, you know as well as I do that he's probably already said yes…he knows how good he'd have it if he lived here…and it'd probably delight him just to piss me off," she muttered, "he has grudges."

             Kitty reached into the large circular door of the dryer and pulled out a warm freshly dried sheet, she tossed Rogue an end, "grudges?  Against you?" she was slightly amused by this concept, what could Remy possibly have grudges against Rogue for?  She'd done nothing wrong as far as Kitty could tell.

             Rogue looked away guilty, "Because I judged him too quickly, I guess," she thought to the night before and when she'd tried to kiss him, she was almost positive now she had to have been drunk, nothing else could have possibly made her do something so foolish, she was certain of it. 

"Is there something going on that you're not telling me about?" Kitty raised an eyebrow, she realised that for Rogue to be sure there was a grudge, there must have been a discussion, and this was something Kitty was positive Rogue hadn't mentioned yet.

 "Look…I wasn't going to tell you this," she stopped the folding process for a moment to look at her best friend seriously, "but somethin' happened last night…I guess I had too much to drink, and just before I left McDuggins I'd had a double Scotch that Logan bought me, I guess it just went straight to my head…"

Kitty looked appalled, "and?"

"I made a move on him – God, I don't know WHAT the hell I was thinking," Rogue shook her head at herself in disgust, she placed one hand over her face, "and he pushed me away, preachin' about how he hadn't forgiven me for the fact I called him a killer," she felt her cheeks flush in fury at remembering this.

Kitty was surprised at this, she'd seriously thought Remy had wanted Rogue back, she couldn't believe he would have pushed her away.  The way he'd been watching Rogue the night previous had seemed to suggest he still had feelings for her.  "Wow…I didn't think he'd push any woman away," she admitted, another sheet was folded and placed upon the pile.  "So are you upset about it?"

"Of course not," Rogue lied blatantly, her eyes darting left and right, her cheeks scarlet still, "I want that asshole out of the mansion as soon as possible."

"Y'know, I think he deserves a second chance," Kitty admitted, and winced at the reproachful expression building on Rogue's face, "as an X-Man I mean," she hastily added, chewing her bottom lip and shrugging, "he was good as one of us," she quickly met Rogue's end and took the newly folded sheet from her, and placed it down on the pile.

Rogue sat down on a large pile of folded up towels that were resting in a basket on the floor, "I don't believe you're siding with him already…despite what you claim, Kitty, I'm pretty sure you really do have the hots for the man."

"Oh come on," Kitty rolled her large blue eyes, but grinned, "have the hots for Gambit?  As if!" she shook her head whimsically, she noted the nearby washing machine had done with a load, and she opened the door and began to haul out large handfuls of wet blankets, she loaded them into the dryer.

"Why is it you always side with him then?" Rogue asked grumpily as she rested her chin on her fists.

"Because I'm just one for always being fair," Kitty shrugged, she took the large pile of sheets carefully and loaded them into a laundry basket and picked it up, "I'm just gonna take this upstairs, can you load the washer with that next pile?"

Rogue gave a nonchalant shrug and watched Kitty leave, she sighed, and began to separate coloured blankets and sheets from white, once she had, she bent over to load the coloured ones into the washing machine, humming to herself absently.

A very hard smack right on her backside disrupted her, and she spun around with a gasp, facing Remy LeBeau, who was standing looking quite bemused with her reaction.

"You fucking pervert!" Rogue swung her hand out to slap him, which he expertly dodged by ducking slightly to the side, grinning broadly.

"Relax," Remy responded, "there was a big spider right on your ass," Rogue didn't miss the very amused expression in his eyes.

Rogue rolled her eyes, "whatever," she felt her face flush with rage.

Remy smirked and held up his hand, a large brownish gooey-looking smudge was on his hand, complete with a remaining spiders leg dangling from it.

Rogue made a face, "ew!" she moved back, "get that away from me."

"You're grossed out? By THIS?" he was curious, "Chere, you got the rest of it hanging from your ass."

Rogue grabbed a dirty blanket from the unwashed pile and wiped her backside with it making a face of disgust as she did.   "What are you in here for anyway."

"I only got one change of clothes and if I have to squeeze myself into Scott's jeans for one more day I think I'll throw up.  Things are so uncomfortably tight," Remy held up his black pants and sweater, the ones he'd been wearing the night he'd been caught in Illinois. 

"Perhaps you shouldn't eat so much," Rogue grabbed the clothes from him haughtily and shoved them in the washing machine along with the coloured blankets. 

"Oh, its not my waist that's experiencing the tightness," Remy responded matter-of-factly as he wiped the spider blood from his hand.  After a moment, he noted a pile of clean laundry in a basket near the corner and picked up a black lace thong, "Hmmm, interesting choice of underwear someone has…"

"Those are mine," Rogue snatched the underwear from him and threw them back in the pile, "not that it's any of your business."

"Black thong, huh?  Someone wants to have sex someday," he said wryly, then whistled as if impressed.

"They're comfortable."

"Sure."

"I don't like underwear lines showing through my uniform!" Rogue hissed at him angrily, she wished he'd just leave.  She'd shoved his clothes in the washer, what else could he possibly want?

"You wear those under your uniform?" Remy now seemed even more fascinated than before, his ebony and ruby eyes widening slightly, they seemed to flicker in his curiosity, "you never cease to amaze me."

"And you never cease to annoy me," Rogue responded quickly to him, their eyes met and Rogue felt obliged to stare back at him intently as he was at her.  It felt almost like a challenge, the way their eyes felt locked.  Who would be the first to look away? 

I won't look away, I won't let him think I'm weak and that I can't even stare him out, Rogue thought heatedly at herself.

"Guys, have you seen a large spider somewhere?" Kitty asked curiously as she entered the laundry room, "One of Hank's test subjects escaped, it was a wolf spider…black and kinda brownish?"

"Uhm…" Rogue's eyes widened a little, "it's just a spider…what's so important about it?"

"Hank had cloned a Wolf Spider and mutated it, a breakthrough in science," Kitty admitted.

At the same exact moment, Remy and Rogue glanced over to Kitty, and in complete unison spoke the words, "I haven't seen it."  

             "Oh, ok," Kitty shrugged and headed off out of the room, seemingly intent on finding the spider, which she had no idea was now deceased thanks to Remy's hand.

             "Uhm…hell…Hank takes notes, right?" Remy asked concernedly.

             "I think so," Rogue kept her voice low.

             "Great, then he'll be able to clone and mutate another," Remy said, looking a little relieved, "Jesus, who the fuck would want to clone and mutate a spider anyway," he rolled his eyes and headed for the door.  "What is it with fucking scientists, can't leave well enough alone," he muttered, in an almost bitter voice that caught Rogue more off guard than she would have expected to have been.

             "Huh?" 

             Remy headed for the door, before leaving he sharply said, "yell for me when my clothes are ready."


	4. Chapter 4: Concerns

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 3

Chapter 4: Concerns

             Rogue stepped into the laboratory which was located in the sub-basement of the mansion cautiously.  The laboratory, where Henry 'Hank' McCoy could be found at most times always reminded Rogue of the kinds of laboratories from old Horror movies, as Hank liked to collect old laboratory equipment as a hobby, and had various pieces displayed around the gloomy room – each new piece more foreboding than the previous.

             "Hank?" Rogue looked around, seeing no one in sight.  She was about to turn and head for the door, deciding no-one would be around, when a very familiar blue furred face – although upside down – swung right in front of her, she gave a gasp and jumped.

             "Yes?" Hank gave a great fanged grin, his indigo eyes twinkled mischieviously.

             "Jesus, do you have to do that?" Rogue glanced up, realising he was hanging from a pipe by his large clawed feet, the long back of his lab coat hanging down behind him, his glasses seemed to be clinging on although very precariously.

             "I do apologise if I startled you," Hank swung down, landing on the floor with a soft thump on all fours, catlike, "I was looking for a spider."

             "I heard," Rogue admitted, she felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment and realised there was probably a guilty look on her face.

             "Ah, you've seen it then?" Hank raised an eyebrow, he stood up, though slightly hunched, and rested one of his large arms upon the counter, with his free hand, he pushed his glasses up his nose.

             Rogue smiled nervously, "Uhm…Remy had a bit of an accident with it," she responded quickly.  

             "Oh?" Hank seemed interested, "are you two on speaking terms again?"

             "I really don't know," Rogue answered brusquely, "Anyway, the spider is dead…"

             "Oh, that's quite alright, I have others," Hank gestured to a glass tank on the counter near his elbow, three large spiders were settled on the bottom, Rogue felt a shiver travel up her spine as she glanced to them.  "Wolf Spiders," he admitted, "incredibly brave, you know."

             Rogue hugged herself insecurely, "so…why were you mutating it?"

             "Oh, I was just curious to see if certain insects and arachnids could possibly possess the X-Gene as we humans do."

             "So why were you cloning it?" Rogue asked very interestedly, generally Hanks long speeches about his research could be the most tedious and un-interesting thing in anyone's day, but occasionally, there would be a few fascinating pieces of information that always proved to be most beneficial to know.

             "Well," Hank explained, "cloning the original spider," he opened the tank carefully and reached, carefully taking out one of the others, "allowed me to alter the DNA before it was fully grown, allowing me to apply the X-Gene…"

             The spider leapt from Hank's hands as if it were perhaps propelled by a sling, Rogue felt pretty certain no spider could jump like that, the spider landed several feet away and scuttled at top speed for the door making a hasty escape.  Rogue jerked out of the way as it passed by her.

             "Damn," Hank pouted, "that's how the last one got loose," he sighed he began to head for the door.  "The X-Gene apparently has given them some very interesting jumping abilities…"

             "Hank, before you go chasing after it, can I ask something?" Rogue stopped him by gently applying a hand to his arm.

             "Anything," Hank looked to her, putting on a confident friendly smile for her.

             "It's about Remy," Rogue put a hand behind her neck, trying to massage out a sudden tension that arrived from having mentioned his name, "I think his powers are evolving, but…he won't admit to it, I was just wondering…has he said anything to you or the Professor about it?"

             "Not at all," Hank replied, "what makes you think his powers are evolving?" he seemed thoroughly intrigued, his eyes twinkled again.

             "Every now and then…whenever someone touches him…they get these kind of electric shocks from him – they're not too painful or anything…" Rogue explained quietly, "I asked him about it, he just got all defensive.  It happened seven years ago – not just with me, but with Kitty also."

             "Interesting."

             "He always makes up excuses for it, and says stupid stuff like it's just the carpets and stuff, but I don't think it can be," Rogue explained, she realised she must have sounded extremely concerned about it, she tried to let it slide, gaining a more nonchalant tone, and an expression of indifference, "I just thought maybe you'd want to talk with him, I mean, who knows if its safe to have him in the mansion.  His powers went out of control once and someone died…" she chewed her lip, tears almost sprung to her eyes to remember that night, "I just want to make sure everyone in the mansion is safe."

             "That's certainly understandable, perhaps I'll have a word with him," Hank admitted, "now be a dear and take a look for the spider I just accidentally let loose."

             Kitty Pryde stepped quietly into the guest bedroom Remy LeBeau was residing in, a pile of clean towels in her arms for the en-suite bathroom.  The last remnants of sunlight of the day was barely showing through the gloomy room, and orangey gold ribbons cut through the slats of the blinds at the window.  Kitty looked around, no sign of Remy in sight. 

             Kitty let herself into the bathroom and placed the new clean towels on the racks.  She hated doing this chore, but it was only once a month she had to put up with it, and as she and her fellow X-Men took part in keeping the Mansion clean and tidy and well looked after, meant it was easier to hide the secrets of the mansion – if there had been maintenance staff, surely the X-Men would have been exposed more than they had been when they had been teenagers. 

             Kitty left the bathroom muttering to herself about hating chores, a small leather case caught her eye, it was sitting on the dresser.  It looked similar to a wallet, except longer.  She felt her curiosity pique and she picked it up, unzipped the edge to open it out like a book, inside a number of small fine silver and gold instruments.  Long, fine handles with an impressive array of jagged teeth, triangle shaped points, square shaped appendages, a small screwdriver handle with various attachments to screw onto it. 

             "What's this?" she asked herself in a whisper.

             "It's a Thief's best friend," she heard the voice of Remy and she jumped, she turned to see him standing in the room with her, she wondered how long he'd been there and found it incredible she had not even heard him enter.  

             Kitty gave a little gasp, "you scared me."

             Remy walked over closer, his hands in his pockets, "didn't mean to," his eyes twinkled.  Kitty noted for the first time the man didn't smell like alcohol and he looked – and sounded – particularly sober. 

             "So what is this?  A lockpicking kit?"

             "Thieving tools," Remy said, "some of them are for lockpicking, yes," he responded.

             Kitty closed the kit and put it back down carefully, "sorry, didn't mean to nose through your stuff," she blushed.

             "Everyone gotta be keepin' tabs on me, after all, I am a Thief," Remy reminded, he narrowed his eyes a little, "goes with the territory, doesn't bother me anymore," he added, although there was something in his tone that told Kitty otherwise.  
             "I…heard the Professor asked you to come back to the X-Men," Kitty said after a moments awkward silence, she ran her fingers through her short hair absently.

             Remy headed towards the window nonchalantly, "word travels fast in this place," he slipped two fingers between the slats of the blinds and pried them apart slightly, staring outside.

             Kitty sat down on the bed slowly, hands on her lap, "are you going to?"

             "What do you think?" Remy replied his voice full of apathy, "I'm no more wanted here than I was eight and a half years ago when I first joined."

             "This time it's different," Kitty assured.

             "The only difference now is that I'm no longer naïve enough to even think for one minute that I could ever fit in around this place," he shrugged, "besides, too much history passed in these walls…too many bad things, too many bad memories…" 

             Kitty stood up and crossed the large room to approach him, he was still staring outside as if there were something out there more interesting than the wilted gardens with their frosted bushes and lawns.  "There were also some good memories," Kitty reminded earnestly.

             "Not for me," Remy shook his head, "spent most of my time here trying to convince myself I was something I wasn't.  I'm a thief, ain't no point in trying to deny it or run from it like I did."

             "That isn't who you are," Kitty said sternly, "c'mon, Remy, you're just in a slump.  You're a good guy, we all know it."

             "No…I'm not a good guy, I'm not a good guy at all, petit," Remy turned and looked at her, "sooner you realise that, the better," he kept his eyes on her, as if searching for a reaction.

             "I have faith in you," Kitty admitted.

             "Faith?" Remy snorted, "what is faith?  A belief in something you can't prove," he pointed out.

             Kitty paused, taking this in, "alright, you're right, it IS a belief in something that I myself can't prove – but YOU could," she looked at him.  "If I can believe in you, why couldn't you believe in yourself?"

             Remy looked away, shaking his head softly, "b'cause its things like believin' in yourself that could end up bein' your undoin'.  I'm not gonna tell myself I'm somethin' I'm not just to let myself down," he growled, "been there, done that, bought the T-shirt," he uttered nonchalantly.

             Kitty sighed, "when you're ready to stop with the negativity and start realising you really belong with us, we'll be here for you."  
             "Very good to know but I doubt I'll be here for you.  Petit, get a clue, the only thing I care for in life is saving my own ass, I couldn't give a shit about the X-Men, about Rogue, or about your 'friendship'."

             Kitty grew cold from his words, it was if she'd swallowed ice and it had just suddenly her stomach, she felt tears build in her eyes, "Rogue is right," she muttered, "You really are an asshole."

             "I ain't arguin'," Remy lit a cigarette. "Welcome to reality, petit, welcome to reality."


	5. Chapter 5: Harsh

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 3

Chapter 5:  Harsh

             Rogue found Kitty Pryde sitting at the top of the stairs in tears, face in her hands, hysteric sobs.  It wasn't the first time she'd seen Kitty Pryde shed a tear, there had been many men who'd broken the girls heart over the last seven years, she assumed this must have been the reason – since it seemed to be the only time Kitty did cry.

             Kitty's sobs seemed to echo throughout the large foyer, making her seem even more upset than she probably was.  

             "What's wrong?" Rogue hurried up the stairs to her friend, "Kurt and you have a fight?"

             It was no secret that Kitty and Kurt for the past eight years, had been having a relationship that was on and off more than blinking Christmas tree lights.

             "No…" Kitty sniffled, "god, its nothing," she sighed, drying her face on the slightly overlong sleeve of her grey-blue sweater.  "I don't know…I'm just being stupid, nothing is wrong, really…" she sucked in a breath, trying to calm herself.

             Rogue watched her closely, "then why the tears?"

             "I hate myself," Kitty sighed, "y'know if I'd never accused Remy of being the one who killed Jared all those years ago then maybe you wouldn't have accused him, and maybe he wouldn't have stayed away so long, and maybe he wouldn't be such an ASSHOLE to me now," Kitty sniffed again, blinking more tears.

             "What did he say to you?" Rogue raised an eyebrow, it was obvious something had been said to make Kitty react this way.  Kitty wasn't the kind of person to burst into tears for no reason.

             "Just that he couldn't give a shit for my friendship…" Kitty ran her fingers through her hair, she let out a sob, "I've tried so hard to make him feel welcome here and that I was still his friend…and he just threw it back in my face," she rubbed the corners of her eyes a little, "he's changed so much…become so…hostile…so cold…and then he acts like nothings the matter…" 

             "He's been pretty…harsh…lately," Rogue admitted, "He's been that way with me too…"

Kitty gave a deep sigh, pulling herself together, "You're right, he is an asshole.  I wanna take that long fucking ponytail of his and strangle him with it."

Rogue smirked a little, "only good use for it, I think," she grinned, but then became serious, "I really don't like who he's become lately," Rogue admitted, "seven years have changed him totally – and if he doesn't want your friendship, that's his loss," she added.  "You shouldn't waste your time on him."

             Kitty stood up slowly, "the sooner he gets out of this mansion the better," she muttered, she dried the last of her tears away, then walked off quickly.

             Rogue gave a nod even though Kitty was no longer in the room.  Kitty was right, the sooner Remy was gone, the sooner things could go back to normal in the Mansion. 

             "Sitting on the stairs again, Rogue?  You know there are some perfectly good arm chairs in the living room," Bobby Drake had approached from behind, he sat down beside her, grinning from ear to ear in that impish way he always did.  He looked particularly handsome today in dark blue jeans, a light grey t-shirt, and his hair slightly gelled into small spikes, his eyes twinkling as always.

             Rogue smiled a little, "I know," she rolled her eyes at him.

             "Kitty just passed me, she looked upset."

             "Remy was an asshole to her," Rogue shrugged, "I think Kitty's just feeling a bit sensitive this week."

             "It must be PMS," Bobby decided, "after having lived in a mansion for almost 9 years with women everywhere, you start to recognise the signs…" he joked, Rogue elbowed him playfully in response to this.  "By the way, did you speak to the Prof about trying to get rid of Remy?" he asked, he scratched the back of his neck absently, looking at her, his pale eyes seemed so transparent through the last of the light coming through the large windows in the foyer.

"Yes," Rogue sighed, "He's asked the swamp rat to become of the X-Men all over again," Rogue pouted, she rested her chin upon her fist, "can you imagine?  The guy is a thief, and a liar and so irresponsible and the Professor actually wants him to stay!"

"Bummer," Bobby made a face, his voice hoarse, "you think he'd have had the decency to get rid of the loser considering all he did to you," he admitted.  "Didn't he give you any consideration at ALL?  Doesn't seem like it…"

Rogue shrugged, "I guess he thinks Remy deserves another chance…" she sighed unhappily, shaking her head, "It's just so not right."

"Has LeBeau said he'll stay?"

"Not yet, as far as I know," Rogue admitted, "probably only a matter of time."

"We can always hope he says no," Bobby grinned, and slipped her arm around her shoulders casually, "y'know what I think you need?" he asked.

             "Tell me, because I'm dying to know," Rogue rolled her eyes at him, but smiled at his behaviour.

             "Dinner, and a few drinks, to take your mind off of things," he responded, he absently curled a finger through a lock of her hair, "how about it?"

             Rogue paused, he was probably right, dinner and a drink might help take her mind off all of this chaos involving Remy, "you're right," she decided, "okay."

             "Great, be ready for seven," Bobby squeezed her shoulder in a comforting and friendly manner, then got up and left.

             "Ah, Remy, do you have a moment?"

             Remy was in his room, staring out of the window and smoking serenely when Hank McCoy stood at the open door, he gave a gentle knock upon the threshold to announce his presence.  "Oui, Que peux-je faire pour vous?" Remy glanced over his shoulder, and smirked a little as if secretly amused at something.

             "Parler anglais, mes Français sont mauvais," Hank announced, revealing his French was quite bad.

             "Alright, fair enough," Remy turned back to the window, arms folded casually.

             "Rogue…came to see me, she suggested to me that you might be experiencing some slight difficulty with the control of your powers," Hank stepped in with grace that carried his bulk smooth and animal like across the room.

             Remy rolled his eyes although his back was turned to the blue-furred beast, "what makes her think that?" he asked, even from behind Hank could see his posture became so much more apprehensive.

             Hank paused, "Well…she did mention that sometimes when people touch you, you cause electric shocks," he scratched his chin thoughtfully, folding the other arm casually, watching Remy with his curious indigo coloured eyes.

             Remy laughed, "Mon ami, I think she is drinking too much lately…electric sparks?  Perhaps she is carrying flints in her bra – that's if she still wears one," he added thoughtfully, glancing over to Hank, his eyes glittering with amusement.

             "Well…Kitty has apparently experienced this also," Hank admitted softly, he was watching Remy's reactions, he could see the man had something to hide.

             "Not recently," Remy said quickly, without thinking, but then feigned a smile, "Seriously, Mon ami, my powers are in perfect control, go ahead," he reached out his bare hand, "try the theory out for yourself."

             Hank reached forward and pressed his fingertips to Remy's hand, with no other result other than the skin to skin contact.  "Hmmm, no electric reaction what so ever, and yet, why do I get the feeling that Rogue and Kitty might be on to something?" he slowly pulled his hand away.

             "Please, I would rather not discuss the matter any further," Remy stated calmly.

             Hank looked at him, "Remy, your powers went out of control once and caused a seventeen year old boy a very early death, if you do not take your powers seriously, it could happen again," he warned.

             "It's not likely to happen again," Remy stated, "besides, these days I don't even use my powers," he added.

             "You don't?" Hank asked, "perhaps this is a build up of your powers causing these sparks," he theorised.

             "Kinetic energy?  Causing electrical sparks?  Is this possible?" Remy seemed extremely sceptical.

             "Science has its ways," Hank replied, "you may have manifested some new abilities you might never even have known about," he explained carefully, he could see Remy was beginning to become more rigid every time he spoke.

             "I thought new powers only manifested during puberty," Remy replied, stubbing his cigarette out, he didn't look to Hank as he spoke.

             "Not necessarily," Hank admitted, "its possible in some mutants that the mutation isn't triggered until adulthood," he pointed out, "also, it's a possibility that this sparking of your powers might be some kind of evolution of your kinetic abilities, or it might be something completely different."

             "Its just the carpet," Remy assured, feigning a smile.

             "Rogue said you'd say that," Hank smirked, "Remy, come down to the lab, I'd like to run some tests on you."

             "I'd rather not," Remy folded his arms, looking rather stern, "nothin' personal, I just don't like scientists," he gave a wan smile, his eyes became somewhat darker and more suspicious.

             "Nothing would hurt," Hank assured, he was hoping he could convince the man.

             "I said no, mon ami, don't make me say it again," Remy warned, his voice suddenly becoming much colder, he turned his back to Hank again, facing the window, staring through the small gap between the slats in the blinds.   "You know, I wish everyone in this place would just leave me alone, get on with your lives and pretend I'm not even  here…" he frowned.  

             "If that's what you'd like…" Hank trailed off, feeling a little dejected, but then he brightened up, "well you know if you have any problems with your powers…any at all, you can speak to me or the Professor, we'd be glad to help."

             "Thank you but no thanks," he said.  "Bye, Hank," he stated, finalising the conversation, for as far as he was concerned, the conversation was now definitely over.

             Hank gave a curt nod, then left the room closing the door silently behind himself.


	6. Chapter 6: Distancing

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 3

Chapter 6:  Distancing

             Rogue ran her gloved finger absently over the rim of her wine glass, as she glanced through the large pane glass window staring out into the dark streets of Bayville, people passed by holding hands, arms around each other, and she found herself remembering once having a similar relationship with Remy LeBeau.  She scowled at herself and forced herself to push the thoughts of this out of her head, she quickly picked up her glass and downed the contents – a very delicious white wine – and swallowed loudly.

             "Are you…alright?" Bobby raised an eyebrow as he watched her swill the alcohol, he reached for the bottle of wine to pour her another glass.

             Rogue accepted more wine gratefully, "I'm fine.  Why, what makes you think I'm not?" she asked worriedly, and she lowered her head looking at him from beyond her long black lashes. 

             Bobby gave a little laugh, "man, you are up tight," he took a sip of his own wine, but made a face, "y'know, I gotta admit, wine just isn't my thing…I wonder if they have any decent beer in this place."

             "Wine is an acquired taste," Rogue responded, she sipped her wine and glanced around the restaurant distantly, "and for your information Robert Drake, I am not up tight," she said feebly, and winced realising how pathetic she probably sounded.

             "You're still letting the Cajun get to you, I can't believe it…" Bobby shook his head in disbelief, "Seven years and you're still not over him."

             "I am over him, completely," Rogue assured, she put on a smile.

             To Bobby, her smile seemed more nervous and fake than her natural smile, and he made a face, "You're not fooling anyone, y'know…" he reached over and grabbed her hand, "I know you still have some sort of strange fascination with the guy – even after all he put you through – but still…you need to learn to distance yourself from him totally…"

             "You're beginning to sound like a self-help book, Bobby," Rogue grinned a little, she pulled her hand from out under his, and she then gave a slight shrug, "how can I distance myself from the man if he's one of us, Bobby…how can I distance myself when I might be on the same team as him?"

             "I don't think Xavier would put him on the same team as you, Rogue," Bobby admitted, he waved down a waitress, "hey, can I get like, a beer or something?"

             The waitress gave him a fake smile and nod, and went away.

             Putting her glass down, Rogue picked up her knife and fork and continued to eat, "what makes you think he wouldn't put us on the same team?" Rogue asked quietly after swallowing a mouthful of steak.

             "Because it's a dangerous thing to do, I mean, come on, what if a situation came up where you had to save the Cajun scumball – you'd probably let him die, and then god knows what'd happen with your future with the X-Men."

             Rogue realised he was right, and she found herself wondering if it came to that, would she let the man die, or would she save him.  "I'd save him," she decided finally.

             "Because you still love him."

             "Bobby, you never forget your first love," Rogue gave a sigh, she picked up her glass and took a sip.

             "Sure you do…I forgot mines…it was, uhm…what's her name?"

             "Jubilee."

             "That's the one!" Bobby grinned.

             "You were fourteen," Rogue smirked a little, "hardly what I'd call a deep burning passion for the girl…" she pointed out, "that wasn't real love, that was a crush."

             "Fine, what about Amara.  I loved her."

             "You dated Amara for, what, 3 weeks?  And the minute you guys did the deed, you guys broke up," Rogue pointed out.

             Bobby shrugged, "but doesn't the fact that we did the deed say something for how I cared about her?"

             "Oh come on," Rogue laughed, "You were a horny seventeen year old," she leaned back in her chair, her expression turned solemn after a moment, "but seriously, Bobby…when its real love…it gets so bad it hurts," she kept her voice low, "and it was…real…love," she stated.

             "Infatuation, the guy is a pretty boy, you were into him for his looks," Bobby tried to assure, "but your seventeen year old self wasn't aware of that at the time and convinced yourself it was real love so that it seemed more special than just infatuation," he grinned.

             Rogue shook her head, but smiled, "nah…this wasn't infatuation…it was…" she trailed off, she couldn't find words for it anymore, "well…" she stopped herself, "no point in thinking about it anymore, its over, and its not likely to start again.  You're right, I probably should distance myself."

             "Yeah," Bobby nodded.

             "Okay, starting from now I will totally distance myself from him."

             "Good for you."

             Remy stepped into the recreation room slowly, hoping to find Kitty Pryde.   He spotted Kitty sitting on the couch, the back of her head facing him, the phone pressed between her ear and shoulder.  It was almost eleven pm, the mansion had quietened down, the younger students in bed, the noise had died down considerably in the last two hours, from music booming to silence.

             "No, mom, I promise, I'll come out and visit soon, I swear," Kitty assured to her mother on the phone, Remy remained back, standing in the shadows and listened intently.

             Kitty gave a pause and stood up, she paced along the room a little holding the cordless phone in her hand now, she wandered over to the TV and she turned it on, turning the volume onto mute immediately, "well, things are hectic here," she said to her mother, who seemed to have asked about this, "its hard finding the time to visit, to be honest," she explained to her mother softly, "I…uhm…really?" she said.

             Remy found it hard to pick out what Kitty's mothers side of the conversation might have been, Kitty seemed to grow flustered, her face reddened intensely.  

             "She saw me?  Well…yes, okay, I was in Illinois…but we were on a mission, I couldn't exactly just drop out and tell the X-Men 'Oh, I'm just slipping out for an hour to say hi to my mom and dad', now, could I?" Kitty pointed out, she thrust her hand up in the air as if she were talking to her mother face to face rather than on the phone, she gestured in a frustrated fashion and sat on the edge of the coffee table.  

             Remy stepped out of the shadows finally and entered the recreation room, Kitty glanced up at him, her expression was unreadable.  He needed her to get off the phone, he needed to say things to her he'd been holding in for a while now.

             "Mom, I have to go," Kitty sighed, "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

             Another pause, Kitty's large eyes widened a little, "fine, fine, I'll visit in two weeks, okay?  I'll come down and stay for a week," she said, another pause, "yes, yes, I promise…I love you, bye," she finally hung up the phone, and she glanced up to Remy.

             "Mother being a pain?" Remy asked in an almost polite tone.

             "Are parents' ever not," Kitty rolled her eyes and put the phone on the charger again, "is there some reason you're here?"

             "I…look…" Remy said, "I have to talk to you…" he sighed, he sat down on the couch so that he was facing her, she was still seated upon the coffee table.  

             "Fine, make it quick," Kitty glanced away angrily, folding her arms stubbornly.

             "I…want to tell you something, something…that…none of the others know…" he said quietly, "but…if I do…you need to promise me it stays only between you and me, alright?" he looked right at her.

             Kitty felt her curiosity replacing her anger, she leaned in a little, "what is it…"

             "Promise me, petit…" Remy kept his voice low and steady, his eyes met hers and he looked at her with some kind of desperation she'd never seen before.

             Kitty gave a shrug, "okay…I promise…"

             Remy reached into the pocket of his pants and handed her a small orange bottle, a prescription label staring her in the face, he looked sheepish for a moment and tapped his fingers against his knees absently.

             "Remy…are you kidding me…" Kitty glanced to the prescription and then raised her eyes up at him in surprise, the prescription was very revealing – it somehow explained more than she'd expected him to be able to.  "Lithium…" she whispered, "are you…I mean…you…you have bi-polar disorder?"

             He gave a soft frail laugh that didn't remotely come from amusement, but nerves, "hard to believe, isn't it…one minute I was a happy go lucky nineteen year old, and now…I'm a fucking psycho manic depressive with suicidal tendencies…"

             Kitty's eyes widened, "you…no way…you tried to—"

             "I'm not proud of it," Remy kept his voice low, "or that I gotta rely on pills to keep me balanced – not that they really do."

             Kitty shook her head, she looked on the date of the prescription, dated five days before his capture, "we searched you, how come we didn't find these?"

             "They were hidden in my boot," he responded, "no one thought to look there – which is quite stupid considerin' I mighta had a knife or a gun there."

             "I'll remember to look in future," Kitty nodded, "so…why are you telling me this?" she asked, "why not Rogue?"

             "Because Rogue isn't any part of my life anymore," Remy reminded, "you are…you said you were my friend."

             "But you said you didn't want my friendship earlier today," Kitty pointed out, she handed him the pills back.

             "I wasn't in my right head…when I get depressed – and don't take the pills – the first thing to happen is the mood swings start," he explained, "and…when that happens, I lash out…" he explained.  "I did not mean what I said…"

             "You're not mixing those with alcohol are you?" she asked, remembering he'd been drinking quite a lot in the last week.

             "Sometimes," Remy shrugged, "sometimes makes them work quicker," he gave a shrug, "sometimes I just pray they're going to interact with the alcohol and kill me," he added morosely, his expression dull, almost lifeless at that moment.

             Kitty felt tears build her eyes once again, how could someone like Remy think these things?  She knew he'd had some personal problems in the past, but for it to be so drastic as to him talk about death as if it was all a big joke.  She suddenly felt the guilt of having hated him for what he'd said earlier, if she'd only known she wouldn't have said such things, "oh Remy…" she said softly.

             Remy dug his index finger and thumb of his right hand to his closed eyes as if to keep them tight shut to force back tears, it had been extremely hard for him to admit and the weight of it came crashing down on him.

             Kitty wasn't sure how to react to him really, either he was crying, or about to cry, and she wasn't sure if it was wise to try and comfort a man from tears – it might bruise his pride.  "Remy…I…I don't know what to say…" Kitty finally said, "I…really didn't expect this…"

             Remy shrugged, but a sob escaped his mouth, Kitty winced, the more emotion he showed – and he hadn't shown much in the time he'd spent at the mansion – the more she felt obliged to try and console him. 

             She reached for his hand and gripped it, his hand was clenched so tight his knuckles were pale against his perfect tan.  She was lost for words, and her thoughts were screaming realisations at her, she'd made comments years ago about Remy seeming a little unbalanced and needing counselling, especially after having heard Rogue's claim that Remy had tried to castrate himself.  But even those thoughts could not have prepared her for this.  Suddenly it seemed to make sense why his moods shifted so frequently to congenial and humorous to cold and bitter.

             Remy pulled himself together, taking his hand from his eyes, keeping his head low to hide the tears, "don't tell Rogue," he managed in between breaths, "I can't deal with her – or  anyone else – knowin' I'm not a hundred percent together…"

             Kitty looked at him, "Remy, none of us are a hundred percent together," she reminded, she patted his shoulder comfortingly.

             "You are," he looked at her through glassy watery eyes.

             Kitty gave a laugh, "yeah…sure," she took a tissue from the box on the coffee table and handed it to him, "if I'm a hundred percent together why do I feel the constant need to have everyone as my friend – and if I'm a hundred percent together why was I sitting crying at the top of the stairs this afternoon because of stupid reasons which don't even matter anymore?" she pointed out.  "Trust me, even I'm not completely a hundred percent all together," she promised.

             Remy sighed, "you won't tell Rogue, will you?" he dried his face, his eyes already looking puffy and red, his nose slightly runny.

             "Of course not," Kitty promised, "I mean I know I always make promises I won't tell her things and do but…this is personal, so I won't," she assured. 

             Remy stood up and sighed, "I'm gonna go to bed, all this…y'know…emotion…kinda takes a lot out of me…" he gave a nervous smile.

             Kitty nodded, "Okay…see you in the morning then."

             Remy gave a nod, "Yes," he sighed, "You will."

- The End (or IS it? Hehe.)


End file.
